Deep State Theorists Slip On Deep Doo Doo in North Dakota

“Funding surfaces for ND wastewater study: Project tests for Covid-19 viral community load” – Bismarck Tribune, 6/21/21

“A lot of mixed messages coming in (and) out of that whole process…this is not an invasion of privacy.” – David Glatt, ND Environmental Quality Director (Bis.Trib. 6/21/21)

“There was a number of people that would like this to have stopped because they feel that it’s an invasion of privacy.” – ND House budget writer Jeff Delzer [R-Underwood] (Bis.Trib. 6/21/21)

“When I was coaching, I scouted…That’s what we’re doing. We’re scouting the virus to make sure it doesn’t defeat us, plain and simple, so I think this is money well spent as we, I believe, are coming to the end, but we cannot take a chance that something could come up again where we’d have a monster on our hands.” – ND Senate Majority Leader Rich Wardner [R-Dickinson] (Bis.Trib. 6/21/21)

“In days of old when knights were bold, and paper was not invented
They’d drop their load by the side of the road, and walk away contented” – Anonymous

“(A) [professor at the School of Political Projectors] shewed me a large Paper of Instructions for discovering Plots and Conspiracies and [who] claimed that one can find people’s secret thoughts by examining their excrement: ‘Because Men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at Stool, which he found by frequent Experiment: for in such Conjunctures, when he used merely as a trial to consider the best Way of murdering the King, his Ordure would have a tincture of Green; but quite different when he thought only of raising an Insurrection, or burning the Metropolis.’” – Jonathan Swift, Gulliver’s Travels, 1726, quoted in George Orwell, Politics vs. Literature, 1946

“Although American political life has rarely been touched by the most acute varieties of class conflict, it has served again and again as an arena for uncommonly angry minds. Today this fact is most evident on the extreme right wing.” –Richard Hofstadter, The Paranoid Style in American Politics, 1963

“Hatred is the most accessible and comprehensive of all unifying agents. It pulls and whirls the individual away from his own self, makes him oblivious of his weal (well-being) and future, frees him of jealousies and self-seeking. He becomes an anonymous particle quivering with a craving to fuse and coalesce with his like into one flaming mass. Heine (German poet Heinrich, 1797-1856) suggests that what Christian love cannot do is effected by a common hatred…Mass movements can rise and spread without belief in a God, but never without belief in a devil.” – Erich Hoffer, The True Believer, 1951

While sitting in the privacy of my privy and reading the Bismarck Tribune’s excellent reporting by Jack Dura, I was pleased to be informed about reemergence of funding for scientific analysis of wastewater for signs of the deadly Covid-19 pandemic virus in Mandan, ND. That funding had been blocked by resistance from other North Dakota communities than mine, and their elected representatives in the Legislature, like Rep. Jeff Delzer. While touched by his concern for my “privacy at privy,” I was dubious as to how Delzer concluded that our private thoughts and activities might be at risk from actions of the collective bowels of myself and my neighbors. I therefore sought immediate consultation with true experts on the subject: my KGB animal friends, especially the canines, so adept at sniffing around other animals’ “business.”

High Plains Reader: Hello friends! The battle between medical science and 21^st Century Deep State theorists has really “gone into the toilet.” How else do you explain Representative Delzer’s objections to anything that might slow down the threat of a return of Covid-19.

Putin: You needn’t worry about Representative Delzer, or other Republicans who might be shoveling this B.S. around the nation. You need to worry about voters who might believe him.

Rasputin: There might be politicians like Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI) or Congressman Louis Gohmert (R-TX) who are dumb or deluded, but most Republicans in Congress and at the State level, are smart enough to know that they are pushing paranoia wrapped in panic peddling, and treason wrapped in patriotism. They either don’t have the guts to say otherwise or they actually don’t want democracy to succeed if it empowers women and people of color.

HPR: But local North Dakota Republican officials are pushing back against Delzer’s nonsense. What took them so long? Fear of Trump’s Swiftian Yahoos up here? Or fear of the Democrats?

Mr. Swamp Fox: Both. President Joe Biden’s popularity numbers remain high, with no signs of fading, despite reporting from papers most North Dakotans don’t read. Tucker Carlson and fellow loonies on FOX News and copycat crazies metastasizing on the right fringe are still loud, but most folks would rather watch ball players dodge inside pitches on FOX Sports, ESPN or MLBTV, than conspiracy scammers and Jan. 6 rioters dodge subpoenas on the news.

Ms. Recovering Republican Lap Dog: Joe Biden’s competent government is getting deserved credit for its efforts against Covid-19 and a return to an economic and social “normal.” Some folks who voted for Trump in places like Arizona, are even lobbying Senator Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ) to back Biden’s infrastructure plans: “progressive normalcy,” if you want a slogan for it.

HPR: I prefer “Build back better!” But what about antivaxxers and the attacks on Dr. Fauci?

Lena: As a medical Doctor, Anthony Fauci cares about people dumb enough to avoid easily available vaccines; but most other folks don’t care any more about those idiots than the “Delta Variant” does. Freedom to be stupid is as guaranteed in this country as freedom to be informed. Ignorance is curable by self-awareness, but getting stupid takes more work than you might think.

Mr. Crying Wolf: There are many ways of courting death besides not getting vaccinated; like riding a Ski Doo without the ability to swim; or driving your pick up truck out onto the ice when it is posted as too thin. It happens every season. Only Charles Darwin could sympathize.

HPR: But what about all the gridlock in Washington, D.C.? How will we get any Infrastructure Bill passed if the Senate Republicans benefit by blocking everything that Democrats propose?

Chicago Dog: Whoever says all Republican Senators benefit from gridlock, hasn’t spent time in Red States hurting from the pandemic and climate change. What 24/7 media call “gridlock,” politicians call “negotiations.” Sometimes these are serious; sometimes they are not. The proof in the Infrastructure Bill’s pudding will be in the eating, but the recipe won’t be fully cooked for a while. I predict a giant Christmas Tree Bill, just like the recently passed Covid-19 relief bill, that Republicans up for election in 2022 cannot afford to oppose too rigidly, at least not visibly.

Lena: For example: ND Republican Senator John Hoeven, and ND Congressman Kelly Armstrong are card carrying members of the “Capon Caucus” of the Republican Party – too weak willed to openly oppose Trumpism in their Red State, while other State leaders push back on its nonsense. But with elections coming up, they are desperate to get pieces of the action from President Biden’s, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer’s proposals; so they have to fake co-operation. “Trickle down” politics, if you will.

HPR: But won’t Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell just stop the thing in the Senate?

Putin: Moscow Mitch will try. But in that case, he may have to sit and watch the Democrats ram through by reconciliation, a wildly popular infrastructure bill, with an even more popular tax on wealth. Mitch may have more to lose that way, than letting “moderate” Republican Senators whittle down a bill to avoid a filibuster. That won’t be enough; Joe Biden ain’t playin;’ and the Republican Capon Caucus in the Senate is larger than the Treason Caucus of January 6^th infamy.

HPR: But forces of reaction include more than just Mitch McConnell. U.S. Catholic Bishops are trying to deny Communion to our second Catholic President; while Republican 2022 candidates act as if January 6^th was just another date on the Calendar.

Señor Perro: Perhaps the good Bishops haven’t heard about Biden’s emphasis on “human infrastructure” in his Christmas Tree bill; but I’ll bet the Vatican has. Catholic Bishops always have voted Republican, but Catholic voters confess their Democratic preferences by secret ballot.

Madame Inspector Chen: Republican hopefuls can wish all they want for amnesia like that of Trump’s AG, Bill Barr, but the new Attorney General, Merrick Garland, ain’t playin’ anymore than President Biden is. Indictments of criminal insurrectionists of January 6^th will continue, as well as tracking of Republican enablers within the Capitol, well into next year’s election cycle. Also, President Biden and AG Garland have located and are cracking down on cynical purveyors of illegal weapons. More nightmares for the GOP and fellow travellers in the gun running lobby.

HPR: Is that why Republicans like Jeff Delzer are so keen to hook their constituents on B.S. about bacteriology as a “Deep State” intrusion into our private privies, hearts and minds?

Omar Khayyam: No doubt. You could call it “critical feces theory,” except that it is not based on facts the way that “critical race theory” is based on the historical record of racism in America.

HPR: But, scientists looking into wastewater for Covid-19 and its variants surely are aware of germs, bacteria, viruses and other plagues that have devastated humans over the centuries.

Rasputin: Naturally, just as historians are aware of the political viruses that affect today’s self-appointed Republican royalty by “divine” right of money bags, the “purity” of their religious fervor, degree of fanaticism for freedom fantasies and power trips, or the “color” of their skin.

Jim Crow XIV: Reactionary Republicans have for 60 years feasted on illusions of “white” men, gloating over circumstances of “guns, germs and steel,” as Jared Diamond put it, and brute upper body strength, that allegedly made them superior to women and people of color.

Lena: The problem for these Neanderthals is that survival in the 21^st Century in an age of climate change, nuclear discoveries, and rolling pandemics, depends on the grey matter inside the skin of the skull, not the visceral tint or facial makeup of the skin itself.

Mr. Swamp Fox: Self appointed geniuses in the Republican “brain trust” don’t understand that the number of rubes willing to be rubes has dwindled drastically, even within their own ranks, especially in States like North Dakota; invisible to self appointed geniuses amongst most major media, but more and more obvious to underlings who amass their polling data.

Prudence Possum: My fellow D.C. swamp creatures discovered a droll memo by one of those resentful underlings, aware that their “bosses” were fatally unaware of any different cards left to play from their “deck of deceit,” based upon race hatred, misogyny and religious bigotry.

Agatha Alligator: It seems that age-old purveyors of B.S. are now scared shitless:

Republican “Royalty” Who Detected No Odor in their “Ordure”……..……Headless Horseman

Republicans of yore; of Right “Divine;”
Were wont to play the “Race” Card, day to day;
And year to year, to keep their pow’r in play;
As well to feel and grow their “bottom line.”

Reaction was the game; but not the name
They gave to cover all their naked greed.
“Conservative” was what they used to feed
The sheep they sheared with naught a shred of shame.

But when the feces hit the fan with Trump,
They ran from facts they dare not ever face;
Their voters need not know the awful truth;
That “It Was All A Lie” – a mushroom dump
Of darkness; Such a lethal, smelly place;
Designed to steal their votes, and sense of worth.